Topic Talk | What if I don't want children?
Description
In this episode of The A to Z English Podcast, Xochitl explains why she may not want to have children.
Transcript:
Jack
Hey, A is the English podcast listeners. It's Jack here and we just want to announce that we are now on WeChat. Our WeChat ID is A-Z English podcast that is A-Z English podcast, one word all lowercase.
Jack
And if you.
Jack
Join the group. You will be able to talk with me. You'll be able to.
Jack
Talk with social.
Jack
And we can answer your questions. We can read your comments on the podcast. So we'd love for you to join us and be active in our we chat group. Our WeChat ID is A-Z English podcast. Thanks. See you on the app.
Jack
Welcome to the A-Z English podcast. My name is Jack and.
Jack
I'm here with my co-host social.
Jack
And today we have an interesting topic.
Jack
For you and social, I'm going to.
Jack
Let you introduce the topic today.
Xochitl
Today, we're going to talk about.
Xochitl
Societal pressures and expectations kind of in this upcoming generation, which includes, you know, people my age and younger, and we're going to talk about how I maybe don't want to have kids.
Jack
MHM.
Xochitl
Yeah. So I don't know what to say about that, except I guess I've gotten to an age finally.
Xochitl
There, you know one once people know like they ask me how old I am and once they know, you know, they they sometimes ask, you know, do I want to have kids or am I thinking about having kids? And the answer is kind of no. I mean whenever I hear screaming children, it just dries up, it dries.
Xochitl
The uterus right up, Jack to the side.
Xochitl
Of.
Xochitl
Something I just I hate. I I can't really stand the shrill shrieking of of joyous children. I'm just kidding. But it is it. It is really hard and and I just see there's so much responsibility. I admire people who are parents. Of course I know it's really hard.
Jack
Yeah.
Xochitl
But I do see there's so much responsibility and it kind of makes me feel like you just never know where things are gonna go. Like a lot of things are kind of out of your control when you have kids and.
Xochitl
It's scary because I I I I guess I always go to the darkest, you know, recess of my mind and think you know what? If someone murdered my kids or you know what? What kid murdered someone you know and and not just that. It's like every decision that you make for the rest of your life will revolve around your kids and even when your kids are adult.
Jack
Hmm.
Xochitl
You're going to worry about them every single day, and you're gonna.
Xochitl
Like put your energy into that bill. Never stop being your kids, you know.
Jack
Oh, I I know exactly what you mean. It's. But can I go back and back a little bit? Are you are you offended when people ask you that?
Xochitl
Oh yeah, Jack, rewind.
Xochitl
I don't really care but, but I know some people. Some people do get offended and I think that's their right because it's kind of like it's not really anyone's business, you know, and if.
Jack
Yeah, it's kind of an inappropriate question in some in some ways.
Jack
I feel like.
Xochitl
It's kind of a crazy question because it's like if I wanted kids and could have kids, wouldn't I have them right now? And then it's like, and if I didn't want kids, then why are you asking me and like?
Jack
You're right.
Xochitl
Like there's just or if I want kids and couldn't have them like, then we're just about to open a really uncomfortable can of worms, especially if you don't know me super well. Like, what if you asked me that and I have on my, like, fifth round of IVF and we know it's not gonna work anymore. And I'm like, I start sobbing my eyes out. And you just ask me, you know, if I want to have kids, you know what I mean? Like, it's just why.
Xochitl
I don't get why people ask that, and I and I can see like if I wanted kids and I had issues.
Xochitl
Conceiving I would probably be really I could easily be hurt and I can see why people would be, you know, it's a.
Xochitl
Weird question to ask.
Jack
Yeah, it seems like it kind of a dangerous area to to ask questions about, you know, because it's so personal and and also, you know, do you feel like you do, you feel obligated to explain yourself after when you say no like because I feel like just saying no is should be enough.
Jack
But but I I feel like you feel like you have to qualify that with like an explanation and that that's I think the crux of today's topic, right is the.
Jack
The this kind of idea that like you have to have kids like it's just and and I'm I'm I'm my we were talking about this before the the podcast before we started recording.
Xochitl
Right.
Jack
And uhm, I told you, I I mentioned to my daughter. I said, you know. Well, I think I told her don't have any kids or something like that. But that's a little harsh, you know? Like I mean, of course, if she wants to have kids, I I hope she has kids. And I would love to be a grand a granddad. But because then you just get to do all the fun stuff.
Jack
None of the hard work.
Xochitl
Right. You get to spoil your kids rotten and she has to discipline them.
Jack
Exactly. That's. I'm looking forward to that actually that's that's that's kind of the reward for going through and parenting is you get to then you get to be a grandparent but.
Jack
The but I just feel like like more, more and more people in your age.
발표자
Group.
Jack
Are are, are choosing not to have kids and choosing not to get married, especially women you know are are are just going into the workforce focusing on their jobs and their careers and realize that having a kid is also a full time job.
Jack
Hmm.
Jack
By itself, and I know because I've I've gone through it, my daughter, and we're coming out of, we're kind of coming out of it on the on the other end a little bit because my daughter is now 15, almost 16. So she's basically like a little adult. And, you know, all the.
Jack
Annoying stuff is is is done, you know, I mean it. It's lovely when they're they're little and cute, but sometimes it can be.
Jack
Like.
Jack
Exhausting. You know, I just remember my daughter crying uncontrollably for no reason in about two in the morning, and I'm just beside myself and you know.
Jack
Lying on the floor on her bed, bedroom in or in her bedroom, holding her hand, saying, you know, will you go to sleep if I hold your hand? And then she said yes, OK. And so I'm holding your hand. And then she finally falls asleep. And then I fall asleep and.
Jack
To wake up on this hardwood floor.
Jack
And not well rested the next day. And you know, it's just it. It's it's tough. Like I I just think like having kids going into it without, like thinking about it really and really knowing that you want to be a parent. I think some people just jump into it too too quickly.
Jack
Do you think?
Xochitl
Uh.
Xochitl
Yeah, I totally agree with you. I think actually some of the most responsible people are like end up not having kids because they just know I'm not trying to knock anyone who's who's had kids. I'm sure a lot of people.
Xochitl
Are responsible parents, but I'm just saying that a lot of people who would be responsible parents also just don't end up having kids because they think about everything that has to go into raising a child. You know, it's like a lot of effort, a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of sacrifices.
Xochitl
And UM.
Xochitl
I think one of the most common arguments now for for children is or for people who don't want to have children is like, oh, you're selfish and it's.
Xochitl
Like, I mean, I think it's more selfish to bring a child in the world when you're not fully prepared to take care of that child.
Jack
Right. Being neglectful. Not to, you know, be still trying to live your selfish life because you you you have to. Once you have a kid, you, you're, it's done. It's not life is no longer about you.
Jack
So.
Jack
So you know, I I know some people that that have kids and they still want to live like they don't have kids. And you what happens is in either one of the spouses, the husband or the wife ends up, you know, doing most of the heavy lifting. Most of the work and then resentment.
Xochitl
Right.
Jack
Pros and then divorce happens and those kinds of things and.
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